I sit here at 12:30 on Wednesday morning. Wide awake and on my 3rd episode of Golden Girls. (I'm secretly 88.) I love Golden Girls but I love sleep more. Being the stay at home parent means that I am usually the one up well past midnight making sure all is well in our house. I'm the one that hears the pump going off, even over the sound of the TV. I'm the one that hears the dog scratch at the door to alert. I'm not always the one that wakes up at 3 or 4 am to check the blood sugar but I'm the one that hears it. I know that my husband appreciates that I stay up late because he has to get up early in the morning for work. He works very hard.
I would like to say that this only happens a couple of nights a week but I would be lying. It happens so often that the dogs and I have a routine of potty breaks and drinks of water. One of our dogs stays awake usually as long as I am awake. I live on 4 hours of sleep a day. There are many days that I am driving the struggle bus but I know that I can't give up because Jack needs me.
I struggle when my neurologist tells me that my migraines are probably caused by a lack of sleep. I know that I have to be the best mom and wife I can be and if that means I don't get a full nights sleep than so be it.
For those of you that are new to your journey or to the point where sleep has left again, you're not alone. There are many moms (& dads) all over this country who are wide awake because their children need them. Don't give up. Coffee will be your friend when morning rolls around. And hopefully a time will appear during the day that you can catch a nap - however short it may be.
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