Find Your Tribe

Being an adult is hard. Being a mom is harder. Being a friend is the hardest (in my opinion).

When we were kids, it seemed so easy to make friends. Everybody was our friend no matter the differences. The older we got the more we looked for friends that held our interests or that were like us in some way. Then adulthood came - almost seemingly out of nowhere. Some of us got married right away or right out of college. Some waited. Others became parents. We are at many different points in our adult lives but I think it is safe to say that at some point we feel like we are alone.

I, for one, can say that this life of mine is quite lonely. Although I would say if I didn't have my people around it would be so much worse. Seasons and phases of life come that will cause people to come in and out of our lives for whatever reasons. Even to have people in your life for a season is better than to not have anyone at all. Whatever we are going through many times seems very isolating in addition to the loneliness. I feel that the isolation can be almost worse than being alone. I know that I have felt that there is no one out there that understands what I am going through but boy am I wrong.

You don't have to find someone that understands everything that you are going through or struggling with. I have found many different people that can relate in many different areas to what is going on in my life. I have friends that fully understand what we are going through as parents of a child with Type 1. Friends that understand what it is like living with a child that has a chronic illness. Friends that are military spouses or former military spouses. In everything friends. My tribe. In a lot of areas of my friendships they do not overlap with one another but that is ok.

One thing that I have learned over the years is that as outgoing as I was as a child and teenager it is a little harder to be that way. One other thing that I have learned is that I don't really seem to care what others think about me so I am who I am and either they like me or they don't. I know that is not an easy thing for most people to do. I also know that it is easy for me to say sitting behind a screen.

It is a scary thing to put yourself out there to strangers. To be vulnerable and let others into your life and everything that is going on. It does feel easier to just put a shield up and not let others in. It feels easier to have that guard up. Especially when there may be hurt and betrayal from people in the past.

Find those people that will lift you up. Find those that will be an empathetic ear and shoulder when you need one. Find those people who make being a friend easy - who will not expect a lot from you, who understand that life continues. Find those that if you go awhile without talking you can just pick up where you left off like no time has past.

Another thing that I think about when finding your tribe, your friends is to be a good friend. I know that it is easy to have friends but it is very hard to be a good friend. Be their encourager and cheerleader. They live this crazy life too and need a friend as much as you or I need a friend. Be genuine with them. Be you.

I know that my friends (for the most part) love me for my weirdness, goofiness and all of my flaws.

Find your tribe. Love them well. In return they will love you well.